Passed away; not forgotten

Death

When someone close to you passes away, it can turn your world upside down. For many people, it feels like the certainty they once had, has suddenly been taken from them. Depending upon how the person died, it can also make you questions your beliefs, your life, and it may even make you wonder what is the point of life. You may feel fearful of your future, be tormented by memories of your past, and consumed by grief.

When you suffer a bereavement, you will naturally go through a process of grieving. This is unique to every person and is a completely natural process. The range of emotions you are likely to experience can come in waves lasting days, or you may experience several in a short period of time. The key point to remember, is that there is no right or wrong way to process your loss. And it is vital that you allow yourself the time to process your feelings and emotions, without suppressing them, or rushing the process to “get over it.”

It’s a myth that the amount of tears a person sheds after a death, indicates the depth of the loss. If you do not cry easily, this doesn’t indicate that the death didn’t have an impact on you. Equally you can be significantly impacted by the death of someone who was violent or abusive towards you. 

It is important to allow yourself the time and space to process your emotions and feelings. If you suppress your emotions, this can cause more emotional problems later on. When people are not able to come to terms with a significant loss, this is one of the contributing factors that can cause people to suffer from the symptoms of depression.

For most people when they are grieving they may feel any number of these symptoms:

• extreme sadness or tearful

• despair

• anger

• guilt

• fatigue

• loss of appetite

• mood swings

• insomnia

• hopelessness

• not being able to concentrate

• increased use of stimulants, such as alcohol, drugs, smoking.

The symptoms of will tend to lessen over time and tend not to berate or attack the identity of the person grieving. The symptoms of depression, however, last much longer, tend to overshadow the person's perception of themselves and life in general, and it’s more pervasive. 

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When you have suffered a bereavement, you'll feel a sense of loss for the person who no longer is alive. You may also feel a loss for the part of your life that they will never share with you. You may feel a loss because they will no longer share aspects of your home or social community with you. It is therefore not surprising that many people suffer with the symptoms of depression after the death of a significant loved one or pet. 

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To ensure this doesn't happen, it's vital that the emotional impact, the trauma, is released from the body. Science has researched the impact of emotional trauma and where it's held in the body. Therefore, any techniques that you use, must release the trauma from the body; talking things through on its own, will not be as effective.